Last Days

Thursday morning I took my time getting to work, and started reflecting on the past 4 years of driving to my job. I was feeling good, but still had some nerves as it was my very last morning drive to Dr G's dental office to work. As I was thinking of everything from wondering if this was again, the right decision to be taking Ryder out of "school" at his very impressionable age, it was if I got the sign I needed from God that He was there and that it was in fact the right decision I was making. It had been cloudy the whole drive to work, and as soon as those doubts entered my mind, it was as if he popped up to say "I'm here, don't be afraid".

Here are some of the things I won't miss about working:

1. Patients that are rude, whether in person, or on the phone (and the patients we all dread coming in)

2. The bad traffic jams in the afternoon and sometime mornings

3. Coming home to my family so late in the day when everyone is so tired

4. Having to get along with all of my co-workers

5. Having to have a patient or someone in your face 24/7

6. Being away from my family everyday

7. Having to be somewhere by a certain time and rushing both Ryder and myself out the door.

8. Taking and dropping Ryder off at daycare, and I know Scot does all of the picking off, and lately did most of the drop offs, so I am really speaking for him here haha

The list could go on, but I think I will stop here :)

When the days get stressful at home, I want to look back to this list often and remember just what it was like, and know how much I appreciate the opportunity to be able to stay home. I know that there will be hard days, just like when I was working, but nothing can compare to the daily dealings with other people and putting that effort on them rather than spending that time and energy in my own home with my own  family.

The day went well, and although there were times throughout the day that I kept looking at the clock and telling myself "You can make it just a little longer Laura", I was proud of myself for getting through this last week. I was sad when hugging everyone bye at the end of the day, but I left feeling good about my decision and the relationships with my co-workers and they all wanted me to stop by once Brynley is born to show her off. I can't wait for the day to do this, and have already planned a lunch date with everyone when that day comes. I will miss some things, the good things, about working, and I do know that I will have some days that I actually miss working and being around adults. But, at the same time I am so excited to start this new chapter in my life, and I have so much that I'm already looking forward to!

Things I'm looking forward to:

1. Taking vacations when and whereever I want, and not having to request days off

2. Starting our weekends on Friday as soon as Daddy gets off from work

3. Spending lots of time with Ryder (and soon to be Brynley too)

4. Not missing a minute of my children growing up before my eyes

5. Playdates with my children to meet other moms, including MOPS groups, trips to the library and story telling time on Tuesdays

6. Getting into a new routine with Ryder and then with both he and Brynley once she's born

7. Sleep (well.. until Brynley gets here ha!)

8. Cooking homeade meals for Scot and being the wife I was meant to be. Working so late often left him to cook dinner and clean up once I got home and now I can take on those duties and take stresses off of him

Friday was Ryder's last day at school. We had been telling him this for weeks now, and as he pulled the very last loop from our countdown chain, I think he somewhat finally understood what this meant. He was in very good spirits Friday morning, and I was curious to see how he would react. I went with he and Scot to drop him off, and I felt very nostalgic about those very first days we started taking him to Miss Jenny's daycare. Had I not had such comfort in knowing that they would take such care of my baby while I was at work, there is no way I could have gotten through the early weeks and months of having to go back to work. I knew that he would be loved and held, and as much as it killed me in the beginning, I knew it was what we had to do at the time. It definitely got easier, and I know Ryder even benefitted from meeting new friends and teachers, and getting experience he wouldn't have otherwise had the chance to do.

 This was Friday afternoon once we picked Ryder up from school. He was so cute and seeing him telling all of his little friends goodbye for the last time was a little sad. I'm not really sure how much of this he understood, but when one of his friends started crying, I felt a little bad. They have grown up with each other since they were just weeks old, and it was a little bittersweet to say goodbye. I am excited for Ryder to finally be able to stay at home though, and we will eventually meet new friends and have playdates.

This is one of Ryder's very best friends, C, and although they play rough like brothers, I know he will miss him and I am waiting for the day that he starts asking where his friends are. Seeing them hug goodbye was so cute and I teared up a little bit.

We made our way around the daycare telling all of Ryder's teachers goodbye and giving last hugs, and just thanking them for all that they had done the last 3 years. We made our way down to the infant house where Miss Jenny was to tell her and some of Ryder's other teachers from when he was a baby goodbye. They were all sad to see Ryder go, but wished us well on being able to stay home, and assured me that was what they did when they had small children and it was the best decision they ever made. It made me look to the future and again be excited to start this new chapter in our lives.

As we still await Miss Brynley to get here, I think Ryder has been especially happy to have all of her things down to play with and carry his baby around! Now the countdown can really begin, and I can't wait for the fun we will have as I get to stay home with Ryder and Brynley.

Happy Labor Day Weekend!!